February 24, 2012

What is No Gluten? My Goodness? all about?

Because what the internet needs is another food blog.

Pretty much every time I cook, I blog it in my head. I annoy friends by taking pictures of food before I eat it. I started this blog years ago, but abandoned it. I’m back. Gluten-free is more relevant than ever. 

Gluten-free is the new synergy!

But there’s so much crap on the internet to slog through. 

Gluten-free as a new snooty domestic craze

Gluten-free as the latest diet fad. 

Gluten-free as a box on “I’m better than you because I raise my own chickens” list. 

Sooooooo, the chicken. It's fed and watered gluten-free?

 This week I finally decided to just do it, to clutter the internet with yet another food blog.

What this blog will be:

  • A source of any recipe I try, like or don’t like. Meat to vegan to raw, Southern to chichi, I eat everything so don’t complain about the poor animals or the pictures of tofu.
  • Tips on being poor. How to save money. How to recycle ingredients and other things. I’m unemployed and broke. Again. I have experience crying myself to sleep at night over money worries, so let me share what I’ve learned.
  • A non-professional description of booze. I went on a winery tour once. Got , legs and bouquets.
  • Commentary on anything else I feel like blogging about or sharing, to a limited amount.

What this blog will not be:

  • Some sort of cutesy “look at my baby and this tacky-ass craft I just made OMG I love my husband puppies are sooo kewt!” schlock. This blog is about food, particularly gluten-free food, and that is that. No offense to your baby, I’m sure he/she is adorable. Some of my best friends are mommy bloggers and husbands.  
  • Fancy and properly-done. I'm not putting the food in white boxes for photos. My Office Paint skills are sublime, but that's about it for my photo editing skills. If I need to credit something, somehow, please let me know! I'm not doing it intentionally. Hopefully as I go along I'll improve.
You know...

Hey…if I’m going to be blogging, why not try to make some money from it? I wasn’t expecting to get rich, but every penny counts. If a month’s worth of blogging could cover the phone bill, AWESOME.

After several days of researching, I have all but given up on this whole “make money blogging” thing. There’s not an affiliate program, a poorly-written “work from home!” article or a smug “I make $2000 a month blogging!” testimonial I haven’t read this week. It seems that generally you have to be a chatty brown-noser to make it work.  

 Ask questions like “WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE MONEY?!!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?”

Instead of “Why do Udi’s muffins cost so much?”

Most important advice I've learned: niche or die.

According to Mike and Molly, in their post on "SEO Keyword Hell," a niche must have at least 250 google searches, less than 50,000 other sites about the same thing, and the top-site must suck so that yours will take its place.

So, I’m going to be remodeling this blog for a new-and-improved niche site:

Sexy Gluten-Free Clowns

(I used to tweet in Klingon.)

So, yeah, the ads are obnoxious. 

However, I do my best to make sure they’re NICHE! relevant and not total spam. Nothing wrong with Spam, mind you, so long as it’s thinly sliced and fried, topped with sprouts, Duke’s mayonnaise, red onion and tomatoes…all lovingly stuffed in-between two slices of toasted Udi’s bread…

One problem I’m having is: 

Should I type gluten free or gluten-free? The latter is correct, but when people search do they bother being right (I mean, have you READ the internet??).What should I do as labels? Should they all be verbatim - that means using space on typing out "gluten free." Or "gluten-free??"

One problem I won’t have: 

Wondering if I should say “nitch” or “neesh,” since you’re just reading niche.

So remind me, why another gluten-free food blog?

 I’m blogging to share gluten-free recipes. I’m sharing my great finds and wastes-of-money with you because that’s what I want to read. Making money just hopefully will be a side-effect of my spectacular blog.

Why will my blog stand out from other gluten free blogs? Aside from being funny and well-written, it’s short and to-the-point.

Pictures will be relevant and helpful.

Instructions will be clear, and tested.

No, “What a neat recipe! What do you think?” BS trying to rack up comments.

If I haven’t tried it, eaten it, read it or used it, I won’t post about it.

Being gluten-free isn’t hard, but it’s not always easy. It’s not expensive, but it ain’t cheap. I’ve got a decade of trials and tribulations to build on, so stick around! 

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